February = LOVE

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think this is my favorite month of the entire year! This month love is promoted and I really do love love! I love to accept it and I love to give it away. In my previous post I talked a lot about learning how to love oneself and I actually found this really great video on learning to love yourself. It's less than 6 minutes long. You def should listen to it. I love the visuals in it and the message. It has a few curse words but its def a great listen.

 

 

 

Great right? I like how he put it in context and said to learn to love yourself you have to treat yourself as if you were your best friend or someone you really cared for, because that is so true. Sometimes we want the best for everybody else. Yet we accept less for ourselves.

 

This month I have decided to dedicate this month to self-love. There a few things that I decided I wanted to do this month to implement my journey to begin  becoming the best me possible.

I think it is really important to treat your body as a sacred object. I have learned that just not anybody should get the privilege to view and/or touch my body. I should treat myself like I am a precious diamond or ruby because in all honesty I am and so are you!

 

This month I have started some morning rituals that I would like to do every morning to begin my day:

 

1.) Wake up and Praise my Savior/ Read the word/Give thanks/Pray over myself and others

2.) Enjoy a warm mug of water with lemon (check out the benefits )

3.) Dry brush my entire body

4.)Do 15  deep breaths

5.) Look in the mirror at myself booty-butt-naked and tell myself how much I am loved and beautiful!

 

LBVS!

 

My weekly goals is to have a relaxing bath once a week.

I will also be starting a vegetarian diet. Today is the 1st day and when I tell you that I already feel so much more alert mentally I am so serious.
I have been researching a lot about foods, herbs, natural supplements. I truly believe that God created everything we needed when he created the earth. Did you know that bee pollen is edible and has many benefits?.... I  was shocked to discover it did. What?! Bee Pollen!

 

I have been taken a few different natural supplements and my sleep has gotten better, but I know I have to cut out all the junk food because the benefits of the supplements are being outweighed by the bad food I have been eating.  So that is why this month I am starting to eat different. I believe that choosing to eat healthier will give me more energy because I notice that whenever I eat a lot of fastfood and junkfood I am so tired. I just want to go to sleep even if I have slept for 10 hours already.

Some different supplements I have started to take: Garlic, Alfalfa, Cranberry, St. John's Worth, Bee Pollen, Ginger Root, Biotin, Cayenne Pepper, and Wheat Grass occasionally.

I saw this video on facebook and it was really inspiring. This lady began to eat a raw food diet and she looks like she could be 38 to me. She is actually 70. Check it out....

 

Anywho I am excited for this month. I will be doing daily or at least every other day updates. I will add pictures and keep you guys posted on my journey. You are so welcome to come and join me! Action loves company!

 

 

Love and Blessings!

Confirmation

 God is ridiculously good. Even when we are so messed up, so downtrodden, so messed up mentally. The Lord will still show his love and favor on his children!! I have finally learned in this life that nothing beats the goodness of God and nothing can take it away.

God will give you a word concerning your destiny and the devil will try to distort (try and pervert) the word. BUT GOD!

 "When the Enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of God will raise a standard against him!" (Isaiah 59:19)

When the devil lies he is speaking his native language! He is the father of lies! (John 8:44) Don't let the devil deceive you! God's choice, decisions, laws, are ALWAYS the best!

Walking into a New Season.

 

 

You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

I want to be the woman I see in my dreams.

 

 

 

LOVE

Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails

1 Corinthians 13

 

God is the ultimate example and expression of love. His love is unlimited, boundless. It sits above you, surrounds you, envelops you, and it is the foundation on which you walk.  We could never stop the love that God has for us, and we don't earn it. We are simply blessed and should receive it.
I believe we miss out on a number of love experiences because our  hearts have grown bitter and hard due to disappointments, frustrations, and hurts in life.

But regardless, it is still there. Allow yourself to receive what is freely given to you.

Thank God for love.

                                                                         Love and Blessings.

The Eyes are the Windows to the Soul

 

 

 

 

Lately I have found myself watching a show called Drug, Inc. I think it comes on Tru tv. It's a pretty solid show. If you are into getting a glimpse into the life of drug dealers, drug addicts, and the government trying to stop the drug trafficking to no avail. What tripped me out about the show was that some of the drug dealers who were still in the business of selling the drugs got on camera and discussed it while covering everything up except their eyes. In my opinion that was the craziest thing. The eyes are the main feature on your face that characterize you as a person.

I mean honestly. Come on...

 

Hmm...wonder who this is?  ... Nah. We know.



The subject of the eyes bring me to another topic...
Ever heard of the saying  "The eyes are the windows to the soul".

 

I believe that is so true. I once knew my ex boyfriend was talking to my  (ex) friend just by seeing a picture of the two and looking at their eyes.

They say you can tell if someone is truly into you just based on if they are making solid eye contact as opposed to just "eyeing" the body. You can read that here.

They say serial killers have a hollowness in their eyes like they have lost their souls.

All kinds of different stories have been said about  a person and their eyes. 

 

Being proficient in being able to read people's eyes is a very valuable skill, even when it comes to your own. Today I happened up on some old pictures of myself from college. The first thing I noticed was that my eyes were smiling along with my lips. For some reason that got me to thinking and I realized that it has been a long time since I have smiled and you can see happiness in my eyes. Don't get me confused. I have happy times and moments now. I am grateful  presently. I am not seeking the things that I lost in the past anymore. I have accepted the present with hopes for a better future...And yet I can see that all the inner happiness that used to shine through my eyes is gone...at least for now. I guess that would explain why I always feel like I could cry and most times their is not a specific reason.

To be honest, I really am not sure what happened to me. I don't know if it was something major or if it was just a succession of many things. All I know is that I do struggle with being happy every day, and I have to fight to remain positive.  It's unfortunate because for the most part in the past I was really positive.  

It was just a Zest for life that I had, nothing in particular had to be happening I was joyful...Since I have been living for Christ (Only by the strength of the Lord I stopped fornicating, smoking, and ive been trying to spend daily time with Him) it has been better. My mindset that is. Last year around this time I was totally gone. I was so depressed. Drinking, smoking, sexing  my life away with no hope, happiness, or love for myself or others. I was a gone girl. But GOD. He really did save me and when I look back on it I can't help but cry because if it had not been for God I know I would have died in that wreckage. This is why I am grateful. I just feel that me living like that killed apart of me.

I read one time that a study was done and it said for every person someone sleeps with their percentage of committing suicide goes up. I believe that. I really wish I would have understood why and how you should wait till you are married. I knew it was wrong to have sex before marriage but I didn't understand why. I know that all those guys added up and damaged my self- esteem. I struggled with feeling worthy after a season of being a Whore. But I am happy that I understand now and so I don't have to keep making the same mistakes.

 

Now the only thing that makes me happy is when I am praising and worshipping God.  I just need something secure. People are too finky. One minute they love you. They next they don't. One minute they are your friend. The next minute their not. One minute they are  are supporting you. The next minute they are criticizing you. I literally cant.

Men don't make me happy anymore.

Money doesn't because it's gone so quickly. Everything ends but God is the only foundation which I know will never turn his back on me. Never change His mind.

 

I love him because he first loved me...and he never stopped.

 

I saw Jhene Aiko new album cover and the art on it really spoke to my spirit.

 

 

Whenever I go I will be so happy. This world can not satisfy me.

 

 

Love and Blessings!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next Chapter

 I don't know why I always wait till the last minute to do things. I end up missing out on  having multiple opportunities. Case in point: Applying for Grad School. It is January 5, 2015 and I am just now applying for grad school for the Fall. My GRE is scheduled for the 21st of this month. I haven't even began studying. Yep, shame on me. 

Instead of being able to apply at schools like Vanderbilt, North Western, shoot even UA in Tuscaloosa...I only have like a few options. Mainly HBCU's..I am not sure why but for some reason a lot of HBCU's have much later deadlines (Hampton, Meharry, Tennessee State University)...Maybe they want to give us more time...Im not sure, but whatever the reason. Praise God. Anyways this may sound silly but I am only applying to ONE SCHOOL.{{{ Let me tell you why}}}. First of all it took me almost a year to even decide that Psychology is what I want to do. I just made a definite decision today after much crying and much prayer. I believe that I have gotten so much confirmation that this is the right path but I have been scared to go with it-- afraid that I would choose the wrong thing to pursue, once again. But my brother told me something that strengthened and increased my faith..... He said.....Trust yourself and what God has put on your heart to do.

 So I prayed about it, again, lol. Felt the same thing. And so I'm applying for Tennessee State University's master in psychology program. I'll let you guys know when I get my acceptance letter. :)

'alone' in a room full of people...or with 3,000 facebook friends

 

         When we first met we both were still so young....so naïve....so clueless to what both of us would grow to be. Nonetheless, it was love at first site. You asked all the right questions that made me believe you were really interested in the core of me. You proudly and boldly showcased my smile around the world making me feel super special. You understood me, was there for me whenever I needed you. You became my home. I could express myself limitless, but then things changed...... You were always a friendly person and that was fine,  but then you began to allow anyone and their mommas(literally) access to us. It wasn't sacred anymore. It became wild, yet repetitious. Extra causal, yet strictly professional. And I didn't know how to respond to you anymore. I guess I should have ignored some of those friends you brought to me. But I figured I didn't have anything to hide. Still, our sacredness what taken, a trust was gone. I have traveled the color wheel of emotions with you. You have made me angry, and sad, and envious, and all the other emotions that come with making yourself vulnerable to someone only to be let down because their only human too.... But you aren't even human. So go suck it Facebook.

       As you can see, Facebook and I have a dysfunctional relationship...... We probably should take couples counseling if we want this thing to work..... or maybe I should just quit him altogether and focus on my self. ( Because Apparently I can do BAD all by myself )

Sometimes I log onto my facebook account...scroll through my newsfeed and become pissed, laugh hysterically, and become inspired all within 5 minutes. I guess it just comes with the territory. One thing that I see a lot of is people over sharing and I can't say anything about that because.... (well, this blog, obviously) But it kind of grinds my gears because for the most part I know that your audience on facebook doesn't care. And maybe that's just how I feel and feelings are not facts. But I literally see it all the time. Someone pours their heart out on facebook and  no one comments or someone comments something ignorant. Girls talk about their men problems on facebook to men who flip it around and try to use what he did for their own come up, and the reverse can be said. I guess it is what it is.

 But it did  hit me last night  why people put so much of their information on facebook......

      People simply want someone to listen to the, hear them, understand them.... A psychology technique  that sales people use all the time to get you to like them (it's been proven a person is more likely to purchase something from someone they like) is to ask questions about yourself and then.......just listen. How easy is that, huh?

      Before the era of social media, it was more common for people to have journals, diaries, to write letters. We know that it has been proven that writing is therapeutic. And now because putting pen to paper is becoming extinct. Facebook is becoming the gathering of those called to write. And to that I say....write on dearheart! Start a blog and write about something that you are passionate about. Write to express yourself. Write to get over bad experiences. Write to remember. Write to release. Write because your words matter.


                                                                     LOVE and BLESSINGS!