The Eyes are the Windows to the Soul

 

 

 

 

Lately I have found myself watching a show called Drug, Inc. I think it comes on Tru tv. It's a pretty solid show. If you are into getting a glimpse into the life of drug dealers, drug addicts, and the government trying to stop the drug trafficking to no avail. What tripped me out about the show was that some of the drug dealers who were still in the business of selling the drugs got on camera and discussed it while covering everything up except their eyes. In my opinion that was the craziest thing. The eyes are the main feature on your face that characterize you as a person.

I mean honestly. Come on...

 

Hmm...wonder who this is?  ... Nah. We know.



The subject of the eyes bring me to another topic...
Ever heard of the saying  "The eyes are the windows to the soul".

 

I believe that is so true. I once knew my ex boyfriend was talking to my  (ex) friend just by seeing a picture of the two and looking at their eyes.

They say you can tell if someone is truly into you just based on if they are making solid eye contact as opposed to just "eyeing" the body. You can read that here.

They say serial killers have a hollowness in their eyes like they have lost their souls.

All kinds of different stories have been said about  a person and their eyes. 

 

Being proficient in being able to read people's eyes is a very valuable skill, even when it comes to your own. Today I happened up on some old pictures of myself from college. The first thing I noticed was that my eyes were smiling along with my lips. For some reason that got me to thinking and I realized that it has been a long time since I have smiled and you can see happiness in my eyes. Don't get me confused. I have happy times and moments now. I am grateful  presently. I am not seeking the things that I lost in the past anymore. I have accepted the present with hopes for a better future...And yet I can see that all the inner happiness that used to shine through my eyes is gone...at least for now. I guess that would explain why I always feel like I could cry and most times their is not a specific reason.

To be honest, I really am not sure what happened to me. I don't know if it was something major or if it was just a succession of many things. All I know is that I do struggle with being happy every day, and I have to fight to remain positive.  It's unfortunate because for the most part in the past I was really positive.  

It was just a Zest for life that I had, nothing in particular had to be happening I was joyful...Since I have been living for Christ (Only by the strength of the Lord I stopped fornicating, smoking, and ive been trying to spend daily time with Him) it has been better. My mindset that is. Last year around this time I was totally gone. I was so depressed. Drinking, smoking, sexing  my life away with no hope, happiness, or love for myself or others. I was a gone girl. But GOD. He really did save me and when I look back on it I can't help but cry because if it had not been for God I know I would have died in that wreckage. This is why I am grateful. I just feel that me living like that killed apart of me.

I read one time that a study was done and it said for every person someone sleeps with their percentage of committing suicide goes up. I believe that. I really wish I would have understood why and how you should wait till you are married. I knew it was wrong to have sex before marriage but I didn't understand why. I know that all those guys added up and damaged my self- esteem. I struggled with feeling worthy after a season of being a Whore. But I am happy that I understand now and so I don't have to keep making the same mistakes.

 

Now the only thing that makes me happy is when I am praising and worshipping God.  I just need something secure. People are too finky. One minute they love you. They next they don't. One minute they are your friend. The next minute their not. One minute they are  are supporting you. The next minute they are criticizing you. I literally cant.

Men don't make me happy anymore.

Money doesn't because it's gone so quickly. Everything ends but God is the only foundation which I know will never turn his back on me. Never change His mind.

 

I love him because he first loved me...and he never stopped.

 

I saw Jhene Aiko new album cover and the art on it really spoke to my spirit.

 

 

Whenever I go I will be so happy. This world can not satisfy me.

 

 

Love and Blessings!